❓3 questions you should ask to grow your career
How to escape from a “feedback desert”
Feedback is crucial for advancing your career - but you'll usually have to ask for it.
3 out of 4 employees think that critical feedback from their managers is important for their career development. But only 5 percent of employees believe managers provide such feedback.
As a PhD student, I wasted so much time by not asking my supervisor for feedback. I'd spend weeks trying to "perfect" my work before showing it to him, when instead, I should have discussed my rough ideas with him first to make sure that I was on the right track. This unproductive behaviour usually ended up with me having to scrap most of what I’d done, regretfully thinking “if only I’d asked earlier”.
In my current job, we’re highly encouraged to look for feedback. For example, each 1:1 meeting with our manager starts off with us respectfully stating one way the other person is uplifting the performance of the team and one thing they could improve on. The frequency of "if only I'd asked earlier" moments is decreasing. But old habits die hard, and I'm still working on improving my feedback-seeking skills.
We generally think of giving and receiving feedback as a negative experience. Our bodies react the same way they do to threats: our heart rate jumps by as much as 50 percent and we exhibit other signs of anxiety. But research studies show that asking for feedback minimises this threat response in both the giver and receiver. The feedback-seeker has more control over how the conversation goes, and the feedback-giver has more clarity on the kind of guidance they're expected to provide.
In this newsletter, we'll show how you can effectively ask for feedback from your boss. We’ll go through several practical questions you can ask your boss to propel your career forward and impress them with your proactivity.
Why you should ask for feedback
Before we get to the feedback questions, let's talk about why asking for feedback is important. There are 3 primary reasons.
(1) It’s a growth accelerator. The right kind of feedback is a cheat sheet that shows you exactly what you need to improve. By actively seeking feedback, you’re not just working harder, you’re working smarter.
A common mistake we make is confusing “feedback” with “criticism”. This negative association makes your brain see feedback as a threat, and our evolutionary response to threats is either “fight” (reject the information as untrue) or “flight” (stop listening). Neither approach is conducive to personal growth.
But feedback is fundamentally different from criticism. Criticism focuses on the past and highlighting your weaknesses, while feedback focuses on the future and building your strengths. Remind yourself that every feedback event is an opportunity to learn and grow.
(2) You’re making life easier for your boss. Two-thirds of managers feel uncomfortable with giving feedback. They're anxious about sounding too harsh when pointing out areas of improvement, but also struggle to find the right words to praise employees for good work. When you ask for feedback, you lower those barriers. It shows you’re open, not defensive, and genuinely interested in bettering yourself. (An added bonus is that it improves your relationship with your manager).
(3) It sets you apart. Given our negative associations with feedback, few of us actively seek it. According to a 2016 Gallup poll, only 15% of millennials strongly agree that they routinely ask for feedback. And only one in three millennials strongly agree they've told their manager the one thing they need most to get their work done and why. So, employees who actively seek feedback are the ones who stand out.
The 3 principles of feedback
Feedback is a two-way street: if you want useful information you have to ask the right questions. In the words of business consultant Robert Half: "Asking the right questions takes as much skill as giving the right answers."
So, when phrasing your questions, follow these three principles:
Be specific - clearly state what information or advice you would like to receive. Use words like “who, what, when, where, why, how” and use nouns to clarify exactly what you would like the person to comment on. For example, instead of asking “How well am I doing?”, ask “Which projects do you think I am adding the most value on?”
Use open-ended questions - ask questions that cannot be answered with a few words or a “yes”/”no” (that wouldn't be very helpful!). For example, instead of asking “Do you think I did well on the last presentation?”, ask “What are two or three aspects of my last presentation that you think I did particularly well?”
Stay focused - narrow the scope of the question to one or two particular areas you'd like feedback on. For example, instead of asking “How would you rate my job performance so far?”, ask “How would you rate my job performance on project X over the past few weeks?”
Ask for feedback in these areas
After scouring nearly a hundred advice columns, reading a few books on feedback, and observing people in my workplace who are good at seeking feedback, I noticed that feedback questions fall into three categories:
Situational questions: questions that address a specific situation (like a presentation you gave)
Strategic questions: questions that help you prioritize your time and tasks
Strength-identification questions: questions that identify your strengths and weaknesses
(1) SITUATIONAL QUESTIONS
Vague questions lead to vague feedback. Specific questions lead to actionable feedback. When you ask your manager about a specific situation, it's easier for them to provide focused insights.
For example:
After a presentation: Instead of a broad "How did I do?", you might ask, "How well did you think my points landed? What would have made them clearer?"
After completing an analysis for a client: Instead of “How did you find it?”, ask "How impactful was this to your team? What would have made it more useful?" goes beyond seeking validation.
After completing a project with a colleague: Instead of “What did you think of the project?”, try "If we were to do this project over again, what would we do differently and what would we keep the same?" This not only invites critical reflection but also praise, giving you a balanced view of what worked and what didn’t.
Besides these specific examples, try these question templates to be as specific as possible (where ”X” is the specific point you want feedback on)
“How could X have gone twice as well?”
“I am not as effective as I’d like to be on X — what are two or three ways that I could improve my effectiveness in this area?”
“If I had to do X again, what would you suggest I keep the same and what would you suggest I do differently?”
(2) STRATEGIC QUESTIONS
To maximize your contribution and become an indispensable part of your team, you need to focus on where you can make the most impact.
Asking the right questions can help you fine-tune your priorities. And getting the answers to these questions and acting on them is what you need to stand out at work.
Try these questions:
Clarify priorities: "My top three priorities are X, Y, and Z — how would you rank them in terms of their impact on our team's goals this month/year?” This question ensures you're focusing on the right tasks to ask.
Evaluating time management: "Here’s how I’ve been spending my time on a week-to-week basis. Which areas would you like me to reduce or increase the time spent?”
Increasing visibility: "I'm currently working on projects/tasks X, Y, and Z - which of these are the most visible/least visible to you, and why?"
Identifying inefficiencies: "Here's a list of tasks that I'm currently working on - if you think I could cut out some of these, which would they be?" This question gives your boss a chance to help you eliminate unnecessary tasks.
(3) STRENGTH IDENTIFICATION QUESTIONS
Becoming a more impactful member of your team involves not only refining your skills but also leveraging your strengths. A key to this process is identifying both your standout abilities and areas for improvement.
Identify strengths and areas for growth. "I'm looking to improve and be a better colleague. Help me understand my strengths and areas of growth. What are two or three areas you think I do really well in? What are two or three areas could I improve on to have more impact?”
Find your comparative advantage. "What are the unique abilities I bring that enhance the performance of our team? What are some ways that I could further enhance my strengths and mitigate my weaknesses?”
Strategically develop your skills. "What one skill do you think I should focus on in the next five weeks?”
Start a habit of asking for feedback today
“We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve.” - Bill Gates
This week, try these steps:
Pick one of the categories (situation, strategy, strengths) and find one specific aspect you'd like feedback on. If you're not used to seeking feedback, start with something small.
Follow the principles in this article to craft a question on that aspect. Rehearse that question in your mind until it sounds natural.
Find an opportunity to ask your manager or senior colleagues that question. It doesn't need to be a formal meeting or take much time - for example, you could casually approach someone during a coffee break and ask if they have five minutes to give input on something you're working on.
Once you have your feedback, put it into action. If your colleagues see that you listen to their suggestions and value their advice, they'll be more willing to give you feedback in the future.