⛔️ Avoid these 5 Credibility-Killing Phrases at Work
These small changes to your language have a big impact
A few years ago, a mentor told me that I tend to use "minimizing language" - words and phrases that make us seem uncertain and hesitant.
"It makes you seem less knowledgeable and confident than you actually are," my mentor explained.
My mentor's feedback was spot on, and it made complete sense in hindsight. Back then, I applied for every leadership role that came up but failed to secure any. The feedback I received flagged concerns about my abilities to guide and oversee a team. Looking back, the (minimizing) language I use at work probably contributed to those concerns.
The harsh truth is that our language choices play a big part in how people perceive us at work. When we use disclaimers (”I might not be right but…”), hedges ("kind of", "I guess", “maybe”), and tag questions at the end of statements, our message is seen in a negative light. And the messenger - you - are seen as less competent, less credible, and having less authority or agency.
Compare "I'm sorry to bother you" with "Do you have 5 minutes to spare to speak about this issue?"
Compare "This might be a silly question, but..." with "Can I/you clarify why we're taking this approach?"
Compare "Maybe we could try..." with "I have a suggestion that I would love us to consider."
Another harsh truth is that minimizing language harms some people's career prospects more than others. For example, we typically associate minimizing language with women more than men, even though there's no evidence that women actually use minimising language more than men do.
Still, the “penalty” for using “low-power” language is larger for women than men. Women who use minimizing language are considered to be less influential than men who use similar language (ouch!). I've attended many meetings and presentations where a woman who says "I don't know" is perceived as unknowledgeable and a man who says "I don't know" is perceived as intellectually humble.
Over time, I started jotting down the minimizing language that I used in emails and meetings. I asked the mentor to let me know when they catch me using minimizing language at work.
Here are my 5 most common minimizing language mistakes and what to say instead.
(1) Using “feelers”
Phrases like "I feel", "I think", "I believe" suggest that your statement is merely a personal opinion rather than a conclusion or a call to action, which makes it easy for others to dismiss what you say. Unless you need to distinguish between fact and opinion, feelers are unnecessary.
Example 1: "I think"
Minimizing version: "I think we should consider changing our marketing strategy." (This phrase suggests uncertainty and lacks assertiveness.)
Revised version: "We should change our marketing strategy." (Direct and communicates a clear recommendation, enhancing the speaker's authority.)
Example 2: "I believe"
Minimizing version: "I believe our data analysis is pointing towards a significant trend." (The statement seems like speculation rather than a well-founded conclusion.)
Revised version: "Our data analysis indicates a significant trend." (This version states the observation directly. It sounds like a conclusion based on the data, which strengthens your authority.)
Example 3: "I feel"
Minimizing version: "I feel like we're not focusing on our core objectives." (This observation sounds personal and subjective, rather than a professional assessment.)
Revised version: "We are not focusing on our core objectives." (Communicates a clear assessment of the situation.)
(2) Qualifiers and hedges
Qualifiers and hedges are words or phrases that soften the impact of a statement. Examples include: "I just...", "Maybe...", "somewhat". They can be useful in some contexts to convey nuance. But overusing them will make you sound like you're trivializing your work or hesitant about your conclusions.
Example 1: "I'm just..."
Minimizing version: "I'm just thinking we might want to reconsider our approach." (The words "just" and “might” makes the idea seem small and inconsequential.)
Revised version: "We need to reconsider our approach." (We've removed a feeler - "I'm thinking" and a hedge - "just" and "might". Now we sound much more direct and confident.)
Example 2: "Maybe..."
Minimizing version: "Maybe we should look into this issue further." ("Maybe" makes you sound uncertain. It suggests that looking into the issue is an option rather than a necessary action).
Revised version: "We should look into this issue further." (By dropping "maybe", we sound a lot more confident, as though we're giving a clear recommendation).
Example 3: "Kind of"
Minimizing version: "I kind of think this is the right decision." ("Kind of" undermines the statement.)
Revised version: "This is the right decision." (This phrasing sounds assertive - though of course you should have solid evidence to back up this claim.)
(3) Apologizing unnecessarily
Some people apologize even when it's not their fault: “I’m sorry”, "This might be a silly idea", "I'm no expert but...". On the other hand, some people struggle to apologize even when it's clearly their fault. This tip is for those who fall into the first camp. It's important to apologize when you've made a mistake. But over-apologizing or prefacing statements with unnecessary apologies makes you seem less assertive. It also detracts from your message's impact. Save apologies for when you truly need to say sorry.
Example 1: "Sorry, but…"
Minimizing version: "Sorry, but could we consider other options?" (Starting with "sorry" implies that asking to consider other options might be an imposition or is somehow wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you don't need to apologize for having one.)
Revised version: "Could we consider other options?" (This version directly addresses the need to explore alternatives. It doesn't imply any wrongdoing for bringing it up. If you're chairing a meeting, you can be even more assertive in steering the direction of discussion: “Let's consider other options”.)
Example 2: "This is a silly idea, but…"
Minimizing version: "This might be a silly idea, but what if we try a different approach?" (Labeling an idea as "silly" before even presenting it undermines its value and suggests that you're not confident in its merit.)
Revised version: "What if we try a different approach?" (Removing the self-deprecating introduction focuses attention on the suggestion itself. This encourages people to consider the suggestion and hopefully bring forward innovative ideas.)
Example 3: "This could be wrong, but…"
Minimizing version: "I could be wrong, but I think our current strategy isn't working." (Prefacing an observation or opinion with this phrase undercuts your credibility.)
Revised version: "Our current strategy isn't working." (Now you're stating the observation directly rather than hiding it behind an opinion. This makes you sound more confident. It also increases the likelihood that others will take the concern seriously.)
(4) Claiming ignorance
The willingness to admit ignorance is a virtue and one of my favorite qualities in people. But at work, we need to strike the balance between saying "I don't know" and proactively looking for answers and solutions. Highlighting what you don't know might make you seem humble. But it can also make you appear less competent, less confident, and less reliable. If you outline your plan to address the knowledge gap instead, you can build trust and confidence in your abilities.
Example 1: "I don't know what our strategy should be."
Minimizing version: Directly saying "I don't know what our strategy should be" undermines your leadership or decision-making abilities, especially if you're in a role where you're expected to come up with a strategy.
Revised version: "I'm exploring several strategic options and will propose a plan by [specific time]." (Shows that you're actively looking for a solution and setting a timeline to deliver.)
Example 2: "I don't know how to solve this problem."
Minimizing version: Simply stating "I don't know how to solve this problem" makes you seem unresourceful or unwilling to tackle challenges.
Revised version: "I'm gathering more information and consulting with experts to find the best solution." (Indicates a proactive problem-solving approach and willingness to collaborate.)
Example 3: "I don't know why that happened."
Minimizing version: Saying "I don't know why that happened" without any follow-up explanation gives the impression that you're not interested or don't pay attention to details.
Revised version: "I'm looking into the reasons behind it to ensure we understand the full context and prevent it from happening again." (Gives the impression that you're committed to learning from this situation.)
(5) Noncommittal responses
Phrases like "I'll try to”, "I might be able", "I can't guarantee" suggest that you're not fully committed to your actions, decisions, or promises. Overusing these phrases will end up lowering the trust and respect people have for you. Aim to show definitiveness instead.
Example 1: "I'll try to"
Minimizing version: "I'll try to get that report done by Tuesday." (Suggests you're unsure about your ability to complete the tasks by the deadline, which makes people question your time management skills).
Revised version: "I will get that report done by Tuesday." (Shows commitment and confidence to meet the deadline, which enhances others' trust in you.)
Example 2: "I might be able"
Minimizing version: "I might be able to attend the meeting." (You haven't definitively confirmed whether you're participating or not, and this uncertainty makes you seem unreliable.)
Revised version: "I will confirm my availability for the meeting by [specific time]." (Much better. It sets a clear timeframe for when you'll provide a definitive answer, and shows that you're respecting other people's planning needs too.)
Example 3: "I can't guarantee"
Minimizing version: "I can't guarantee I'll finish this on time." (You're directly saying that there's a high chance you won't meet deadlines.)
Revised version: "I will update you on my progress to ensure we meet the deadline." (You're committing to keep other people informed about your progress. This shows a proactive approach to managing expectations and solving potential issues.)
Our use of minimizing language varies naturally with context and culture. I still prefer (and gravitate) to "I feel" rather than "I'm confident that". (My Asian upbringing with its emphasis on politeness and deference to elders probably has something to do with that.) But it's very helpful for me - and us all - to be aware of when we should use the latter rather than the former.
The difference between minimizing and non-minimizing language is only a few words.
"Maybe we should consider this problem." vs "We should consider this problem."
"Sorry, but could we consider other options?" vs "Could we consider other options?"
"I kind of think this is the right decision." vs "This is the right decision."
Make these small changes for a big impact.