It's been a rough week at work. First, you had a heated argument with a colleague over the direction of your joint project, which your boss “solved” by turning it into a personal competition between you two. Next, your boss decided - on a whim - to rearrange the whole office's seating plan, and you ended up in the corner desk facing the full blast of the air-con. To top it all off, your boss blindsided you with a disastrous performance review without giving any tips about how to do better next time.
These are all fictional examples (from The Office sitcom), but the reality is that many workers don't get along with their superiors. In the US, 1 in 2 employees have quit their jobs because of a bad working relationship with their boss or manager.
If your manager frustrates you, it's probably due to differences in leadership style. Good managers should adapt their leadership style according to you and your teammates' needs or the specific situation, but at least half of managers don't.
The good news is that you have the power to change this dynamic by effectively communicating how you'd like to be led. In this article, we'll equip you with the essential intel on leadership styles that you'll need to “manage” your manager and build a constructive workplace relationship with them.
Leadership style #1: Autocratic
Your manager is autocratic if they:
Take complete control over projects and teams,
Often make decisions without consulting others,
Don't ask anyone for feedback,
Give feedback that is more critical than constructive.
How to thrive under an autocratic manager:
In situations that need decisive leadership or if you lack experience, this leadership style can give you the clarity and direction that you need.
Ask them to clearly state their expectations for the tasks you need to do (what exactly needs to be done and how to do it),
Keep your manager updated on your progress. For example, let them know after you've finished each task, or send them an end-of-day/week summary so they don't have to,
Defer to their expertise when a decision needs to be made (for example, if they're asking you for input on something you aren't familiar with, tell them you'd prefer their judgement).
If your manager is autocratic, watch out for:
Being micro-managed (or feeling that you are).
Setting clear expectations on how and when you'll communicate with your manager (like “I'll email you when I finish this task, which will definitely be before 5pm today”) can help them feel like they're still in control while giving you some space to work.
Not being allowed or asked to make any decisions.
Even if your manager has more expertise than you, you need to learn how to make decisions independently for your professional development. Even if they won't let you decide, you can use probing questions to learn from their expertise (like “I thought that was a great decision you made in today's meeting - could you walk me through your reasons for it?”).
Leadership style #2: Bureaucratic
Your manager is bureaucratic if they:
Tend to document communications (like meetings, evaluations, processes),
Strictly follow protocol and company rules/policies,
Use predetermined criteria when making decisions or evaluating employees.
How to thrive under a bureaucratic manager:
Become familiar with the processes, procedures, and criteria that your manager follows, so you can communicate with them more effectively. For example, mentioning specific regulations and policies may increase the chances of them agreeing with your ideas.
Use your manager's employee evaluation criteria to guide your workplace decisions. Focus your time and energy on tasks that contribute to these criteria, while minimising the time spent on tasks that don't.
Accept that you have to work with their processes and systems, and find ways to navigate these efficiently. For example, if you know that your manager won't approve your project proposal without specific paperwork, complete the forms well in advance so you won't encounter delays later on.
If your manager is bureaucratic, watch out for:
Unnecessary procedures or additional paperwork, which could delay projects and distract you from the actual tasks that need to be done.
Inflexible decision-making. You may have trouble convincing your manager to adapt his or her approach without changing company policy. For example, if your manager uses sales revenue to evaluate employee performance, without considering individual circumstances like being on sick leave or maternity leave, your manager's stance is unlikely to change unless the company starts to adopt written policies that explicitly account for these situations.
Leadership style #3: Coaching
Your manager uses a coaching style if they:
Understand how to use employees' strengths and skills to meet business goals,
Provide regular feedback and day-to-day support to help employees successfully complete work tasks,
Provide training and resources to help employees develop professional skills,
How to thrive under a coaching manager:
Make use of their willingness to give feedback. Instead of waiting until your next performance evaluation, seek informal real-time feedback in casual or scheduled conversations.
Be open about your career goals and the training that you need, so that your manager can provide tailored advice and support.
If your manager uses a coaching style, watch out for:
Favouritism. Proper coaching takes time and effort, so your manager may (intentionally or unintentionally) focus on the employees who they think need the most help. If you're not part of that group, you'll need to be proactive in seeking advice and feedback.
Subjectivity. Since your manager has a direct interest in your performance, they may find it difficult to take a neutral position when giving advice. For example, if you're a great employee but are thinking of switching jobs, they would benefit more if you stayed (and might try to convince you to!). Make sure you aren't relying solely on your manager for career advice - seek another mentor who can provide a different perspective.
Leadership style #4: Charismatic
Your manager is charismatic if they:
Use their personality and energy to motivate and engage employees,
Focus on fostering and maintaining a positive attitude within the team,
Deliver critical feedback in a constructive way.
How to thrive under a charismatic manager:
Actively seek advice or feedback on things you think you aren't doing well. Use the positive energy that charismatic managers have to inspire you when you're feeling discouraged about a project or your career development.
Let them know (privately) about team dynamics that need to be improved. For example, if your co-workers are showing difficult behaviour (like slacking or credit-stealing), a charismatic manager can use their communication skills to diffuse the situation.
If your manager is charismatic, watch out for:
Toxic positivity. This attitude can unconsciously creep into the workplace culture. While optimism and positive thinking have their benefits, it's also important to acknowledge negative emotions (and their underlying reasons) rather than avoid or suppress them. Using assertive statements (like “We need to acknowledge the problem” or “I'm struggling with <XYZ> right now and really need your help”) can help bring attention to problems that need addressing.
Feeling burned out by their energy (which is especially overwhelming if you're introverted). Taking regular breaks from your team and manager can help you recharge. Let your manager know if you need time and space to work independently.
Leadership style #5: Democratic
Your manager is democratic if they:
Actively seek input from other people when making decisions,
Tend to make decisions only after considering everyone's viewpoints,
Delegate (some) decision-making to others.
How to thrive under a democratic manager:
Communicate your ideas and suggestions by speaking up in meetings or speaking privately with your manager. Your input is likely to be taken on board and can have an impact (which you can reference in your next performance review).
Develop your leadership skills by asking your manager for some decision-making responsibilities.
If your manager is democratic, watch out for:
Slow decision-making. It takes time to gather input and listen to everyone's ideas. If a snap decision needs to be made, like in a crisis situation, suggest quicker methods of seeking feedback (such as an informal vote).
Lack of cohesiveness. When different people are in charge of different aspects of a project, it's important to have regular meetings and clear communication so that all aspects are consistent with each other.
Leadership style #6: Laissez-faire
Your manager is laissez-faire if they:
Focus on their own work and don't pay much attention to what their subordinates are doing,
Let employees work independently and make decisions for themselves rather than providing directions,
Tend not to offer feedback or guidance unless asked.
How to thrive under a laissez-faire manager:
Be proactive in seeking feedback and clarification. Your manager may not be aware of what you need unless you ask for it.
Provide a few options or ideas when communicating with them to help focus the discussion. Laissez-faire managers may not care about exactly how the task gets done so you'll need to give them some prompts if you need further direction. (For example, “Would you prefer I prepare the report in format X or format Y?” is more likely to give you a useful answer than “How would you like me to prepare the report?”).
Use the leeway given by your manager to develop your leadership and problem-solving skills. The hands-off approach provides space for you to demonstrate that you can organise your workload efficiently and handle problems on your own.
If your manager is laissez-faire, watch out for:
Lack of coordination between colleagues. Remember to have regular meetings with your co-workers (with or without your manager), especially on team projects, to make sure everyone is on the same page and aware of what the others are doing.
Lack of clear vision or objectives. Encourage your manager to state these clearly during team meetings or in writing, so everyone can refer to it even when working independently.
Lack of support and guidance. If you're inexperienced, find a more experienced colleague who can mentor you. If you notice a new colleague struggling, ask them if they'd like to have a quick meeting to discuss how things are done.
Leadership style #7: Transactional
Your manager is transactional if they:
Tend to use rewards and punishments to motivate employees,
Set clear expectations, milestones, and objectives,
(Like the bureaucratic manager) Tend to document and communicate timelines and expectations.
How to thrive under a transactional manager:
Use your manager's objectives and incentives to guide your workplace decisions. Focus your time and energy on tasks that contribute to these objectives and rewards, while minimising the time spent on tasks that don't.
Find ways to exceed your manager's expectations. For example, could you complete the work before schedule, or to a higher quality than specified?
Anticipate and meet your manager's needs before your manager asks. For example, are there any regular tasks or annual reports that your manager usually asks for around this time of the year? Their “give and take” mentality means that if you help them, they're more likely to help you in the future.
If your manager is transactional, watch out for:
Being discouraged to think outside the box. If creativity and innovation aren't part of the reward system, you may think it's risky to voice your ideas or experiment with something new. To minimise these risks, have a discussion with your manager about how your proposal can contribute to their objectives and meet their expectations.
Blindly accepting your manager's expectations, milestones, and objectives. The clear reward and punishment system may make you feel like you can't negotiate the tasks and deadlines you're set. If you think your manager is being unreasonable, framing your request in terms of their goals and incentives will make them more likely to agree. For example, explain how doing the task differently or to a different deadline can still meet their objectives.
Leadership style #8: Transformational
Your manager is transformational if they:
Tend to focus on the big picture (like the company's mission and vision),
Question the status quo and encourage employees to do so,
Challenge employees to grow and develop professionally.
How to thrive under a transformational manager:
Use their “big picture” vision for the company or team to direct your work activities. Find ways for your work to contribute to this vision. Framing your ideas and proposals in terms of your manager's vision can improve the likelihood of their approval.
Look for ways to improve the status quo. For example, think of ways to make the company's processes or the team's workflow more efficient, or think of ways to innovate on what your team is currently working on. Keep up-to-date with industry needs and trends (such as consumer surveys and new technologies), so you can impress your manager with your knowledge of what's cutting-edge.
Communicate your professional needs with your manager so they can set appropriate challenges for you. For example, let your manager know if you'd like more leadership responsibilities or additional training in certain skills.
If your manager is transformational, watch out for:
Unreasonable expectations (especially if you're new or inexperienced). Sometimes the challenges your manager sets may be beyond your current capabilities (for example, being asked to lead a project when you don't have any leadership experience). If you feel overwhelmed, talk with your manager or seek help from more experienced colleagues about how you can manage your responsibilities.
Burnout and workplace stress. Constantly pushing for improvement and setting ambitious goals can make you feel pressured. Discuss your workload with your manager so you can figure out how to meet their expectations while maintaining a healthy relationship with your work.
"Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means."
— Ronald Reagan
No matter what your workplace situation is, you can use these three questions to figure out how to improve it:
What kind of boss do you have?
What are the top 3 things you can do this week and over the next few months to thrive under this boss?
What are the top 3 things you need to avoid/watch out for under this style of leadership?